First of all I have to tell you that I am a lot less interested in football than I used to be.
A LOT less.
Back in the day I wouldn't even want to leave the house until all the football was done on Sundays, never mind actually going skating while football was on, especially a Raider game.
Oh yeah.
Huge Raider fan.
GIGANTIC.
Even after they've been sucking super hard for the past 8 years or so, I'm still a loyal follower of the Silver and Black.
ANYWAY, yesterday, they played their most hated rival, the Denver Broncos, who I always refer to as the Denver Donkeys, or just simply, the donkeys.
If there was a machine or a way to register the amount of dislike (dislike is actually FAR too nice of a word) I have for the donkeys, such a device would register such high levels of anger and sheer hatred it would not be able to function on mere electric circuitry, it would have to be powered by lightning and molten hot volcano lava.
Having said all of that, the Raiders were in Denver yesterday to play the donkeys at Invesco Field, their home turf and also a gigantic gathering place for donkey fans who definitely hate the Raiders just as much as, if not more than they hate them.
Cut to the chase, the Raiders ass raped the donkeys yesterday, I mean really, really shoved a smoking, sizzling, scalding, red-hot poker right up their puckered starfishes.
Highlight of Darren McFadden (also known as RUN-DMC!) running roughshod over the donkeys.
The score was 31-0 barely into the second quarter.
Eventually the Broncos scored a couple of meaningless touchdowns and the Raiders kept on piling up points and the final score ended up being 59-14.
Raider fans letting them donkeys know what's up.
59 points is the most that the Raiders have ever scored in their entire 50 year history.
59 points is the most points that the donkeys have ever allowed in their entire 50 year history.
And all of this happened in Denver, in front of 75,000 donkey fans and a very small smattering of brave Raider fans who showed up to represent in the belly of the beast.
Wave that flag!
I want to give much love and props to all the Raider fans who showed up there yesterday and rocked all that silver and black gear and caused such a ruckus during the Raiders' historical donkey ass beating!
I know exactly what it's like firsthand.
8 years ago, (last time the Raiders were any good) I went to Denver to visit my good friend Joe Hoff.
We skated the Denver skatepark and partied and snowboarded and most importantly, went to see the Raiders and the donkeys play on Monday Night Football.
I had 2 foam fingers for the donkey fans and I posed with this fellow Raider fanatic to blatantly celebrate.
It was one of the greatest experiences I have ever had in my life, no joke.
It was 32 degrees but I was so hyped and full of adrenaline not to mention decked out in a Raiders jersey.
It was gnarly.
I almost got into a couple of fights.
I was talking, no, screaming, mad shit to donkey fans.
The Raiders, much like yesterday, whooped that donkey ass real bad.
The final score was 37-14 and it could have been much worse.
Yesterday it was.
Much worse.
Or much better if you're down with Raider Nation.
Me and the Hopps had a message for dejected donkey fans that still holds true eight years later.
SUCK IT, DONKEYS!
Sorry to drop such a long and non-skate related bomb here, but this shit was huge!
Later.
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